Phone Conversation on How to Get a Job After Learning Your Name’s Google Results are of a Porn Star

Dad: So, what are your skills?

Me: Scathing sarcasm and bitchiness?


Dad: But what would you use to market yourself, be serious.

Me: I was serious about the answer I just gave you.

Dad: {hangs up}


Mumbai Mondays, The Woes of Camel Travel

Ahh, 70s Week is over and we all feel sad…but it was a fun ride and while I’ll be getting my other DVD this afternoon (thanks for the stall, Netflix) it is still time to pack up our rad bell bottoms and obscenely patterned shirts (though I shan’t be giving up the sunglasses. Never.) and get on with our lives.  It is trure that I have a lot of 70s Week post to catch up on now that my time is my own again… and I shall be doing that very soon!

However, I have been mulling over this idea for a long time. Ya’ll know that I have a super internship coming up in May… in Mumbai…in films. (And if you didn’t, well then, I do!) And with less than two months to go (freak out) I thought I’d share with you all of the wild things my imagination has been coming up with.

Mumbai Mondays will be short splurts (yes, splurts) of the idiocy that is constantly swarming about in my head about all the things I hope will happen, and all the things I pray won’t happen, and everything in between, while I’m living the Backstage Bollywood Dream.

Here, is confession number one:

My darling parents have had a million heart attacks since I told them I was fortunate enough to get the internship. I’m the first born, they’re a little protective and I’m a little spoilt… however, I do head their warnings and advice about my safety whilst in India. As the favorite it would be tragic were I captured or married or something.

When my coworker suggested I join her for a three day Camel Trek in the Thar Desert in Rajasthan a few days before our internship started I jumped at the idea. There was something very appealing about sitting on a camel for three days and sleeping in the desert.

When I Skyped my parents to tell them my plans this was the conversation:

Me: Can I go on a camel trek across the desert a few days before I start my internship?
Maa: Why?
Bauji: No.
Me: Please! It’s in Rajasthan and she’s done all the research and found us legit places and everything…
Maa: What’s Rajasthan?
Me: It’s like Paheli.
Bauji: What the hell is that?

Obviously that was the end of the conversation since I had to explain Paheli to them and they were done listening after I mentioned the word “puppets”…

A word of warning, I guess…
If you’re going to introduce your parents to Bollywood, don’t let that first movie be Saawariya. They’ll never believe you no matter how many times you tell them that Bollywood is great.