How To Look Your Best This Hurricane Season.
Aspiring Fashion Blogger that I am (not), I have put together your fool-proof guide for looking your best as Hurricane Irene approaches.
1. Blue Diamond Jalapeno Smokehouse Almonds: I know it isn’t a fashion choice, but it works in tandem with item #4 and will give you that sexy, spicy breath for when you meet your Hurricane Boyfriend. Also, being non-perishable and seeds of protein and energy they’ll keep you groovin’ in style when your power goes out and you run out of rations.
2. 80’s-Inspired Side Pony: Your hair tools aren’t going to work so why not salute the past with a vintage side pony? It’ll contain the frizz that is sure to come with humidity and rain and will keep you stylin’ when your water shuts off too. The 80s-inspired perm, which I have because I’m that fashion forward, is not required but encouraged.
3. Look of Concern: If you have to get wrinkles you might as well earn them in a natural disaster. Botox was for the good days and the good days are over. For now. Wrinkles will give you a wizened, survival woman look. Sexy times.
4. Semi-Ratty-Breakup-Clothes: You want to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice so you have to look your Evacuation Best. Throw on your holey duds and sports bras*. If worse comes to worse you need to be willing to sacrifice your clothing for bandages and slings. This isn’t the night for your Forever 21 bling. Dig out your “my boyfriend left me” pants (not pictured) and feel free to use your shirt as a napkin for your almond dust fingers.
With these few pointers you’ll be looking your best in no time!
*Considering where you fall on the underwear-with-pajamas debate, tonight might be the night to wear some.