I was sitting alone, staring out the window. Two men boarded, sat on either side of me and the following happened:
Man 1: [singing] Ohh girl!
Man 2: [harmonizing] Pretty girl.
Me: [thinking] I’ll just ignore this…
#1: I wanna hold—
#2: Your hand.
#1: I wanna be—
#2: Your man.
Me: (thinking) Maybe I can pretend I am deaf?
#1: Ooooohhhhaaaahhh, baaaabyyy…
Me: (thinking) Or pretend I don’t speak English?
(stopping the singing)
#1: Aw, man. She ain’t even looking at us.
#2: Naw, she’s in her own zone.
#1: And I’m trying to serenade her!
#2: I know. I know.
Me: (thinking) Maybe a non-English speaking, deaf person?!
#1: Dude. She look like she’s been having a long day.
#2: Yeah, maybe her puppy died or something.
Me: *losses my composure and busts a gut laughing*
#1: She is alive. Shit! Are we on the wrong train?
Man 1 and Man 2 run off. I share a “what the hell was that?” look with fellow passengers.