Idaho. Idasuck. You Da Ho

Today I want to talk about Idaho, not for any particular reason, just some things I’ve noticed since living in the “Gem State”.
1. There is nothing “Gemmy” about the “Gem” State. Up north, in the skinny part it’s quite pretty, I will allow. There is also a 1880s gold mine that I’ve been through; however, the north eastern part I am in is yellow, yellow and more yellow. And flat. And ugly.  I’m from the East, it’s the land of the green. It’s so green in fact that every time I go home I stare out the windows for hours on end with my face all slack-jawed and in awe. It’s frighteningly green.
Everything, my face, my posture, the sign, my feet make this the most awkward picture I’ve ever taken. Ever…well…

Except for maybe this picture…. 

2. People here drive the speed limit. Or under it. Where in the world is that even normal? Here, obviously…but I hate it. It drives me nuts, mainly because all of the speed limits are under 40m.p.h. It’s awful. Also, when people do speed I can’t figure out why they are because where they are going is just is ugly and as boring as where they were coming from. Perhaps that’s why they go under the speed limit… it’s no use getting excited about where you are going, unless of course they are fleeing state boundaries, in which case, speed as fast as you can.
3. There is a house with buffalo in their front yard. In a neighborhood.  That is SO wrong and SO disgustingly smelly. Sick.

In what world is this normal? 
It’s a good thing Buffalo are my 4th favorite animal.
4. The capital, Boise, is smaller than my hometown, which is a suburb. Sad. One time my friend and I spoke in crappy Texan accents while there to give an air of mystery and exoticism (in Boise? I know.). It was fun, and they looked at us like we were cool.
5. There is no 24 Hour Wal*Mart, this, above everything else is a crime against humanity (besides the closest Target and Barnes & Noble being 30 minutes away). Where am I supposed to go to cure insomnia at 2 a.m.? Also, everything closes at 9 p.m., even the gas stations. Ugh.

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