The Many Reasons I Wish I Lived Alone:

…this could be dangerous…

I currently live in an apartment with four other girls. Typically there are five other ones, but we’re not full at the moment. We all have our own rooms, thank heavens, but I would still much rather be all alone…
I have lived with the same 3 girls for the past few years, and had other ones cycle out (mainly due to getting married or graduating) but when I moved in with the 3 originals the apartment was absolutely disgusting. I would come over to visit my friend C, and end up doing their dishes and taking out their trash because I couldn’t even talk to C while their house was in such a mess.  Fast forward two years later and the apartment is typically very clean, and I am typically the only one cleaning. Yes, it gets annoying at sometimes, but I’d much rather I clean and do it “correctly” (aka the way I was taught to clean by my bleach-loving O.C.D. mother) than they clean and have me do it all over again because their idea of clean isn’t u
p to par with my own.
But today, I’m annoyed, and I’m a little upset, so I offer my Top 5 (I hope only 5) reasons why I wish I lived alone. 
1. The Refrigerator:
   Currently in the fridge/freezer I have 5 items, a gallon of water, a half gallon of milk, a jar of extra hot salsa, a bottle of extra spicy hot sauce and a gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip Bluebunny Ice Cream. 
Just five things.
I keep these items on one shelf in the fridge door (except for the ice cream, which is in the freezer, logically). The rest of the fridge/freezer, I might add, is overflowing with eggs. milk, and rotten things people have saved and forgotten to eat. I used to clean out the fridge all the time until I moved to my little shelf, but I stopped caring after I stopped digging through the abyss of rotten goods. The other day I came home and my shelf had been disassembled and in place of my stuff 15 bottles of salad dressing were in it’s place. I don’t ask for much, I don’t keep much, so I waited for my roommates to leave on a group Wal*Mart run and I restored MY order to MY shelf. It maybe selfish, but I don’t have 4 bowls of the
 same soup in bowls saran wrapped in the back of the fridge either… so get over it. 
2. The T.V.:
As a rule, I hardly watch T.V. during the school semester…but this semester is different, I have A LOT of free time on my hands, mainly between noon and 
two so I always sit down with my lunch and watch the History Channel. At this time of day, recently, there has been a lot of specials on Germany in WWII and the Nazis and so on. Every time I watch these programs I get offended stares from my roommates as they walk through the living room. 
Excuse me!
 I like history, I have a passion for it (and all my roommates k
now that) and WWII, after the Civil War, happens to be one of those eras I am just astonished by. And anyway, I endure hearing you watch re-runs of “Reba” and “What I Like About You” and, hell of hells, “Gilmore Girls” on volume level 500 every night for 3 hours. Allow me my time with the Allied and Axis powers every other afternoon on volume level 10 with out all the judgement. Thank you.

The only show in the history of T.V. that makes me want to commit violent crimes, and all of my roommates love it.
3. Dishes:
I am always doing the dishes. 
Don’t get me wrong, I actually LIKE to, but it would be a lot easier if my roommates didn’t leave things in pans and bowls to fester and cement for days before I finally get pissed enough to just do the dishes. Granted, they’ve been a lot better this semester, but everyone and a while they get bad again and I loose the faith I had been gaining in their ability to be the “clean freaks” they seem to think they are. (Newsflash: you’re not) 
I wouldn’t mind if they left me the dishes, but if they could just rinse them out before leaving them it would be a wonder. It takes all of 2 seconds after you cook something… the time for the food to cool down. Just rinse it out, give it a quick pass with the scrub brush and, volia! Happy Erin!
4. The Windows:
It’s summer (well, still early spring) here in Idaho and believe it or not the weather is actually VERY beautiful. I’m shocked beyond belief, but it’s true. It’s just heavenly outside.  In such weather, as I would assume most people do, I like to have the house open. Blinds open, windows open, door open…etc. just to keep things fresh and breezy. 
Not my roommates. 
Daily I come home to a cloister…the windows and blinds are shut and the apartment is boiling and smelling like the trash that hasn’t made it to the dumpster 3 days overdue (which I promptly take out in a huff and a puff of disapproval). It’s disgusting.  They talk and talk about how nice it is outside and how they should go to the park and bask in the sun (two of them are not in classes right now. It’s terrible) but they do nothing but sit inside, in the PJs watching TV breathing in stale, hot, smelly air.
I’m the phantom window opener… even after they’ve been shut 5 or 6 times in the hour I keep opening them. We’re not living in a quarantined building.
5. Social Obligations
I’m a fairly social person, but I’m also a stay-at-home sort of person.  I’m not looking to get married at 20 like everyone else around here so I don’t go out all that often. I have a busy school course load and Opera rehearsal about 4 times a week so when Friday and Saturday roll around I LIKE to sit at home and watch “Gone with the Wind” for the 342,623,243,672,456th time. I like the quiet, the peace. So, kind roommates, go have your fun, go get overdressed and overly made-up to go sit at the boy’s apartment and watch them play Garage Band for 3 hours and pretend like you’re not bored. I won’t judge you, so spare me the sympathetic “you’re so sad and friendless” looks you give me as you walk out the door. 9 times out of 10 I actually end up going over to someone’s house or having people over… so I really don’t sit at home all alone all night. But I also don’t sit alone and mope and cry and shove ice cream into my mouth and lament that I’m not pretending to act interested watching immature boys play Garage Band and fart at one another.
Spare me from that. And spare me you’re pity, I don’t need it.
P.S.
  I dearly love my roommates, I really do. They are wonderful girls, but living with anyone has their moments of “ups and downs”…so take it with a grain of salt. 
 
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s